October 14, 2015

Movie Reviews 101 Halloween Midnight Horror – Zombeavers (2014)

Director: Jordan Rubin

Writer: Al Kaplan, Jordan Rubin, Jon Kaplan (Screenplay)

Starring: Rachel Melvin, Cortney Palm, Lexi Atkins, Hutch Dano, Jake Weary, Peter Gilroy, Rex Linn, Brent Briscoe, Phyllis Katz, Robert R Shafer

Plot: A fun weekend turns into madness and horror for a bunch of groupies looking for fun in a beaver infested swamp.

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

Verdict: Oh Dead God

Story: Zombeavers starts with two disposal who are carrying hazardous materials when they hit a deer and lose one of the containers into the local river. The contain ends up part of a beaver dam where it pierces spreading the hazardous material on the beavers.

Next we meet our three heroines Mary (Melvin), Zoe (Palm) and Jenn (Atkins) who are going away for weekend away from boys and the big after Jenn’s boyfriend Sam (Dano) cheated on her. The place they are staying at is Mary’s cousins and there is no signal so the girls are struggling to cope without their technology, the beaver dam just so happens to be next to where they are staying too.

The weekend gets interrupted by the guys Sam, Tommy (Weary) and Buck (Gilroy) giving the couples a chance to be together and Sam a chance to redeem himself. The friends start getting attack by what looks like rabies infected beavers but when more turn up the friends need to band together to survive the attack of the zombie beavers as we get to see the darker side to all these people’s characters.

Zombeavers is a slightly different take on the zombie genre and you all know I like myself a good zombie film. This was not a god zombie film, in actual fact is was absolutely terrible. The fact that they killed the wrong characters didn’t seem to make much sense and then they kept worst natured characters alive. I could swear that not everyone is this sex obsessed either, then let’s look at how this doesn’t end up mixing horror or comedy enough. They killed the dog in such a cowardly way I got very angry too. This should have fallen into so bad it is good but this ends up being only this bad it is awful. (2/10)

Actor Review

Rachel Melvin: Mary is the person whose family cabin the girls are staying at, she make strict rules about no boys or phones. She comes off as the wiser of the three but also has what looks like a geek side but is just like the rest, she also has a secret that could ruin all the friendship. Rachel does a solid job but never ends up making enough of a convincing case. (5/10)

Cortney Palm: Zoe is the flirty girl who is obsessed about sex, she pushes the locals until her boyfriend turns up to satisfy her needs. Cortney does a solid job but comes off as one you shouldn’t cheer for but end up cheering for. (6/10)

Lexi Atkins: Jenn is the girl on the trip who has been cheated on, she wants a weekend away to forget about her troubles but things change when her ex turns up making the rest of her weekend awkward. Lexi is the one you are meant to be cheering for but in the end falls into the back of the story. (5/10)

Hutch Dano: Sam is the cheating boyfriend, who tries to use the I was drunk excuse but he comes off quite cowardly when they are in danger. We learn about who the person in the photo is but we see just how much an asshole he is when he sacrifices Zoe’s dog to survive. Hutch makes us hate his character very easily. (6/10)

Jake Weary: Tommy is Rachel’s boyfriend and actually comes off as the prankster but the only good guy of the three. Tommy tries to go for help and easily is the only character to show the bravery to try and save his friends. Jake gives a solid performance but being the first to die wasn’t right for this character. (6/10)

Peter Gilroy: Buck is the sex obsessed member of the group who seems to end up getting all the worst lines and is the first person to get bitten on of the infected beavers. Peter does a basic job but never really does anything special in the role. (5/10)

Support Cast: Zombeavers only really has a couple more characters main providing information to the story too.

Director Review: Jordan Rubin – Jordan manges to give us a horribly unlikeable film that doesn’t manage to be funny or scary. (2/10)

Comedy: Zombeavers doesn’t have many funny moments and is filled with horrendous attempted sex jokes. (1/10)

Horror: Zombeavers does give us a few horror moments but really ends up just losing any potential with the lazy comedy attempts. (4/10)

Settings: Zombeavers puts our characters in an isolated location once the beavers trap them. (7/10)
Special Effects: Zombeavers has really bad practical effects but I do think that was by design. (4/10)

Suggestion: Zombeavers is one to avoid at all costs, it is that bad I wouldn’t even remotely suggest it. (Avoid at All Costs)

Best Part: Zombie beaver bear.

Worst Part: Sacrificing the dog, you never do that in horror.

Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: Hopefully not.

Post Credits Scene: No

Oscar Chances: No

Runtime: 1 Hour 25 Minutes

Tagline: You’ll All Be Damned!

Overall: So Bad, how did it even get released?

Rating

Halloween Kingathon – Pet Sematary II (1992)

Director: Mary Lambert

Writer: Richard Outten (Screenplay)

Starring: Edward Furlong, Anthony Edwards, Clancy Brown, Jared Rushton, Darlanna Fluegal, Jason McGuire, Sarah Trigger

Plot: The ancient Indian cemetery with the power to raise the dead returns and influences the lives of new residents.

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

Verdict: Sequel That Doesn’t Really Work

Story: Pet Sematary II starts on the set of an upcoming movie when the star Renee Hallow (Fluegel) gets electrocute on front of everything including her son Jeff (Furlong). Chase (Edwards) moves his son Jeff away from the tragedy and into the summer house so they can both get over situation.

Back in his home town Jeff adopts a kitten found in the house but when the bullies lead by Clyde (Rushton) who leaves the cat in dreaded Pet Sematary. When Jeff’s friend Drew (Gilbert) dog is killed by his step dad Sheriff Gus Gilbert (Brown) the two boys burial the dog in the Indian Burial Ground. When the dog returns from the dead the boys learn the power of the Indian Burial Ground. Things start to get worse after Gus is killed and Jeff and Drew bring him back to life through the Indian Burial, but like last time everyone involved will learn the lesson of bring something back from the dead.

Pet Sematary II brings all the action back to the same town with the events of the first film being stuff of legend. It then tries to make this a kid mistake which you would have understood with the concept of the film but that takes away what makes this idea great because you need the adult mistake of bringing someone back. I do think this is disappointing because it simply lacks the shock factor the first story has. (4/10)

Actor Review

Edward Furlong: Jeff Matthews is the grieving boy who moves back with his father after his mother dies. He struggles to settle in but befriends a local boy who starts getting involved with bringing first pets than people back from the dead. Edward comes fresh off the Terminator 2 success showing he could have the potential to be a raising star. (7/10)

Anthony Edwards: Chase Matthews is the vet who moves to the small town with his son to start over again, he still misses his ex-wife and as time continues he starts to get the ideas of bringing her back from thee dead. Anthony does a solid job but doesn’t do enough as his character comes off slightly weak. (6/10)

Clancy Brown: Gus Gilbert is the town sheriff who bullies his step-son until he is killed. His step son Drew brings him back and suddenly the two friends have a guardian angel. Clancy does show why he is the biggest name in the film by shining in the role he is given. (7/10)

Jared Rushton: Clyde Parker is the bully who takes things too far against Jeff and Drew, he is easily one of the best bullies in film because you really don’t know how far he will go. Jared does a good job making us fully believe his evil ways. (7/10)

Support Cast: Pet Sematary II has a supporting cast that includes other family members and bullies most are generic supporting characters that don’t offer enough to the main story.

Director Review: Mary Lambert – Mary loses the spark she has with the first film here. (5/10)

Horror: Pet Sematary II doesn’t have the horror needed to make an impact like the first film did. (4/10)

Thriller: Pet Sematary II doesn’t pull you in enough because the side story get slightly to much and the main story almost gets forgotten. (3/10)

Settings: Pet Sematary II gives us the standard small town setting, nothing to stand out. (5/10)
Special Effects: Pet Sematary II has solid special effects that are all practical and add to the gore. (7/10)