Movie Reviews 101 Midnight Horror – Texas Chainsaw (2013)

texasDirector: John Luessenhop

Writer: Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan, Kirsten McCallion (Screenplay) Stephen Susco, Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan (Story) Tobe Hooper, Kim Henkel (Characters)

Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Trey Songz, Scott Eastwood, Tania Raymonde, Shaun Sipos, Keram Malicki-Sanchez, Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen

 

Plot: A young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.

 

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

 

Verdict: Just What is This?

 

Story: Texas Chainsaw starts right were the original 1974 classic ended with Sheriff Hooper (Barry) coming to arrest Leatherface leading to a stand-off against the Sawyer family with the local town’s people burning the house to the floor.

Move forward in time (we don’t know how many years though) where we meet Heather (Daddario) who receives the news that her grandmother has died, only to find out she was in fact the baby of the Sawyer family. Heather sets off with her boyfriend Ryan (Songz) best friend Nikki (Raymonde), Kenny (Malicki-Sanchez) to Texas and along the way they pick up hitchhiker Daryl (Sipos).

We do go through a large amounts of really stupid questions being asked including ‘Why didn’t you tell me I was adopted?’ ‘how could you not tell me I was part of that murderous (My choice of words) family?’ after nearly running over Daryl ‘where you heading’ ‘do you want a lift’ before Daryl offers to pay for the lift. Really this interaction has already made me hate this film and we have barely even got started. Time to get back to the real story going on.

Once in Texas Heather discovers the home she has been left the friends get ready for a party only to learn they are not alone in the house that Leatherface (Yeager) still lives in and he wants to be left alone. We end up having to watch as the friends get picked off one by one by the deranged killer.

Texas Chainsaw really tries to give us a sequel to the original completely forgetting the remakes that could have been a building block for this. I am hugely disappointed with this one because Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the most iconic horror films of all time. We get disposable characters and stupid question and decision making from start to finish. The fact we have Leatherface kill the friends before teaming up with his relative to get revenge on the town makes NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER. We could have the revenge film, fine I will accept that but having him kill the innocent members first then become the good guy just doesn’t work. I could easily go on about how wrong this story really is but I am getting tired of moaning about this one.

 

Actor Review

 

Alexandra Daddario: Heather just so happens to inherit the house where Leatherface lives, she brings her friend there for what she thinks will be a dream home only to find herself in the middle of a nightmare but it is her own family she never knew she has which is the true shocking reality Heather must face. Alexandra fits the leading role well, being the beautiful damsel in distress, but won’t get into the acting.heather

Dan Yeager: Leatherface is the icon that went on a killing spree years ago and long thought to be dead. Well he isn’t and now he lives in the house Heather inherits and just so happens to be related to her. He is bigger, faster and deadlier that ever. Dan makes for an imposing Leatherface character.leather

Trey Songz: Ryan is the boyfriend of Heather who goes along on the journey only to find himself having to fight off Leatherface. Ryan really is just there as one of the friends the character offers very little to the main story with only a small side story that he is having a fling with Heather’s best friend Nikki. Trey does all h can with such a poorly written character.

Scott Eastwood: Carl is the young officer in the town that helps Heather fight off Leatherface, he comes off as the friend officers always trying to do the right thing which is the complete opposite to others officers we meet or is he after something else. Scott doesn’t get used enough for where his character goes.

Support Cast: Texas Chainsaw has a supporting cast that really is just disposable for the main story.

Director Review: John LuessenhopJohn takes this in a different direction but loses all of the tension this original once had.

 

Horror: Texas Chainsaw doesn’t have the scare factor it should have with it going down the action horror film genre.

Thriller: Texas Chainsaw doesn’t have any tension which is needed for this film.

Settings: Texas Chainsaw doesn’t make any settings stand out with where the film goes.
Special Effects
: Texas Chainsaw has a couple of good effects but you can almost see the CGI gore which is disappointing.

Suggestion: Texas Chainsaw is one to avoid and if you are a fan of the original don’t even look at the case. (Avoid)

 

Best Part: Camera phone blood trail follow.

Worst Part: Story.

 

Believability: No

Chances of Tears: No

Chances of Sequel: No, maybe another reboot.

Post Credits Scene: No

 

Awards: Won 2 Awards (Including Worst Film) and nominated for 7 more.

Oscar Chances: No

Box Office: $34 Million

Budget: $10 Million

Runtime: 1 Hour 32 Minutes

Tagline: Evil wears many faces.

Trivia: Originally, a plan for a new trilogy was pitched. The films would be released out of chronological order, with the second film coming out first and being set almost entirely in a hospital. The next film would be a prequel explaining the events that led up to the hospital scenario. The third film would complete the storyline. Fearing it was too ambitious and risky, the producers opted for a follow up to the original instead.

 

Overall: Terrible sequel to one of the best horror movies or all time.

Ratingcard

 

 

Movie Reviews 101 Halloween Midnight Horror – Chillerama

logoDirector: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Bear McCreary, Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan

Writer: Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan, Adam Green, Joe Lynch (Screenplay)

Starring: Ray Wise, Lin Shaye, Tania Raymonde, Eric Roberts, Owen Benjamin, Tracy Dawson, Kane Hodder, Joel David Moore

 

Plot: It’s the closing night at the last drive-in theater in America, and Cecil Kaufman has planned to show four movies, which are so rare that they have never been exhibited publicly on American soil, until this very night.

 

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

 

Verdict: Interest Mini Films

 

Story Reviews

 

Wadzilla (Adam Rifkin): This story follows Miles who is struggling with his sperm levels and Dr Weems gives him experimental treatment to improve his sperm count. The pills have a negative effect because now all Miles has a every increases sized sperm that take a life of their own. Wadzilla is a creature feature with a difference when a giant sperm goes on a killing spree, it knows it is awful but is clearly taking the piss out of the over the town monster movies we have seen through the years. (7/10)

 

I Was A Teenage Werebear (Tim Sullivan): This one starts with Ricky and Peggy Lou two teenagers starting a romance going through a literally song and dance routine. When Peggy Lou gets run over she survives somehow but Ricky’s attention has turned toward the other guys. When Ricky gets bitten on the arse he starts changing into a Werebear and becomes uncontrollable like the ones who bit him. This story feels a lot like The Lost Boys meets Glee, with its really cheesy number and hilarious style. (7/10)

 

The Diary of Anne Frankenstein (Adam Green): For the final chapter we go to war time Germany where Hitler is hunting down Jews where he finds Anna Frank, Hitler finds the diary of Doctor Frankenstein and decides to build his own, but when he monster gets out of control it goes on a killing rampage. This was easily the worst of the four main stories, where it had funny moments but wasn’t interesting. (4/10)

 

Deathication: This is a introduction into the scariest movie ever made and is clearly a giant warning before going into the movie. While this is only short it a beyond awful. (0/10)

 

Zom-B-Movie (Joe Lynch): This is the overall story where we meet the people who have come to watch the selection of horror films being shown by Cecil Kaufman. This is final showing at this drive in movie theatre before it is destroyed, as one of his employees is starting to turn into a Zombie. We follow a few group of friends who comment on the films they have just scene while the zombie numbers start to increase and the virus spreads. (7/10)

 

Comedy: Chillerama has good comedy moments which often come in references to classic films but there is also sex comedy which isn’t my favourite. (6/10)

Horror: Chillerama pays a lot of B-Movies respect to make the film entertaining but isn’t really go to hit any levels of horror. (5/10)

Settings: Chillerama each setting works for the particular film with the overall story being shown at an old school drive-in giving the film the right feeling of B-Movie level. (8/10)
Special Effects
: Chillerama uses the cheesy effects very well and it is clear that is what the film is going for. (7/10)

Suggestion: Chillerama is one for the horror fans to try but don’t expect anything special here. (Horror Fans Try)

 

Best Part: Cecil Kaufman taking on the zombies with one liners.

Worst Part: Deathication was terrible and insulting.

 

Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: No

Post Credits Scene: No

Similar Too: Scary or Die

 

Oscar Chances: No

Runtime: 2 Hours

Tagline: Drive In- Freak Out

 

Overall: Solid Horror Comedy with ups and downs.

Rating 55