Original v Remake – Poseidon (2006)

poseideonDirector: Wolfgang Petersen

Writer: Mark Protosevich (Screenplay) Paul Gallico (Novel)

Starring: Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Jacinda Barrett, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum, Mia Maestro, Mike Vogel, Kevin Dillon, Freddy Rodriguez, Andre Braugher

 

Plot: On New Year’s Eve, the luxury ocean liner Poseidon capsizes after being swamped by a rogue wave. The survivors are left to fight for their lives as they attempt to escape the sinking ship.

 

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

 

Verdict: Glossy but Pointless Remake

 

Story: Poseidon starts on board the Luxury Ocean Liner Poseidon and we go through meeting al our characters Robert Ramsey (Russell) and his daughter Jennifer (Rossum) who is with her boyfriend Christian (Vogel), we also meet gambler Dylan Johns (Lucas), Elena (Maestro) who has snuck on board to be with her boyfriend Marco (Rodriguez) who works on the crew. Richard Nelson (Dreyfuss) is celebrating his trip away wanting a midnight call from his loved one even though he has had his heartbroken back home with Captain Bradford (Braugher) keeping everything calm. This character introduction feels very rushed and I am not sure if I want to cheer for any of these characters. Actually I want to see Richard’s story.

New Year’s Eve again and the celebrations start the new year before the disaster strikes as a rogue enormous wave strikes the ship rolling it upside down. As if all the characters we met are important they are the ones that survive and go out to search for a way out while the rest stay behind in safety so we have Robert, Jennifer, Dylan, Elena, Marco, Richard, Maggie (Barrett) and her son Conor (Bennett). It would be fair to say this is slightly too many characters to be dealing with so I guess we need to trim them down by having over the top deaths for the supporting ones, there we go it starts.

We are left to wonder which ones of the survivors will make it out alive even if we use the process of elimination we know which ones will make it to the end.

Poseidon is a remake of the classic disaster film and what this film does this time is go for the overkill on the characters that are not part of the main group, be it through the first wave, the survivors who didn’t want to go with the rest or just the less important characters have big, Hollywood style kills. The threat remains good because if your ship gets tipped upside down it is easy to create the peril needed for this film. It ends up being nothing but a Hollywood glorified over the top disaster film with under developed characters.

When it comes to the cast you see Josh Lucas get a leading role in an action film where due to poorly written character he is never good or bad with the way he behaves this can also be said about the Kurt Russell character with neither taking the roles filled by Hackman or Borgnine is the original. None of the other performance stand out with as I said before just being disposable characters throughout the film. This film almost feels like a pointless cash in remake for a film that never need to be remade as an action set piece rather than the quest to survive.

 

Overall: Easy to watch disaster film that lacks character development needed.

Ratingcard

 

 

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Rose McGowan Weekend – Planet Terror (2007)

logoDirector: Robert Rodriquez

Writer: Robert Rodriquez (Screenplay)

Starring: Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton, Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, Rebel Rodriguez, Bruce Willis, Naveen Andrews, Julio Oscar Mechoso

Plot: After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it’s up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release.

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

Verdict: Guilt Pleasure Achieved

Story: Planet Terror starts in a strip club with Cherry Darling (McGowan) finally deciding to leave the busy for good. Leaving down an empty street Cherry coincidently gets passed by a military convoy on route to the military base. Abby (Andrews) is looking to collect his specimens which have escaped from the military base where he gets double crossed by Lt Muldoon (Willis) who has been infected by a virus that is slowly killing him unless it is under control. We go onto meet J.T (Fahey) who runs the local garage and diner with the best BBQ in Texas. The diner doesn’t get the most visitors but one just so happens to be Cherry and her old fling Wray (Rodriguez). We also meet Dr Dakota Block (Shelton) as she is planning on leaving her husband Dr William Block (Brolin) on this very night.

With the characters all nicely introduced we get to see the Dr Block’s deal with unknown wounds in the hospital. It isn’t long before our first victim is picked off by the undead and Wray & Cherry get attacked leading to Cherry having her leg ripped off and taken by the undead known as sickos. When the numbers of dead walking the streets continues to grow the unlikely group of survivors must band together to survive the night.

Planet Terror brings us a brand new spin on the zombie genre by mixing it with the Grindhouse style. Granted this is part of a double feature that didn’t really make it together in the cinema but as a stand alone film this gives you all you want in a story. You would only be watching this if you like zombie films and for the story this delivers. I really enjoyed the fact that this film manages to blend the stories without having to use cuts but well placed moments for example a car driving over a bridge which pans to the diner, we see plenty of these through the film which really makes us feel like we are part of a small community. I guess I should be picky and talk about a negative side to the story and that would be the whole story with the Block family as we know how it ends but what caused the relationship to really go sour. I personally enjoyed this story and I feel the zombie genre has been slightly over used but this is fresh. (8/10)

Actor Review

Rose McGowan: Cherry Darling is the gogo dancer who wants to go clean and get out of the town once and for all. Her night starts well but takes a turn when while receiving a lift from her old flame they are involved in an accident leading to the dead taking her leg. Down on her luck she gets saved by Wray who gives her a chance to fight back against the undead. Rose is convincing and the leading lady showing how much of an action star she could be. (8/10)cherry

Freddy Rodriguez: Wray is the mysterious bad boy of the town who always considered dangerous but is an old flame of Cherry’s. When the outbreak starts he gets to show us just how skilled he really is when it comes to combat. Freddy does a good job as the action lead but his excellent scene seems to get forgotten compared to McGowan’s. (8/10)wray

Josh Brolin: Dr William Block is the head doctor who knows his wife is planning something but isn’t sure what it is, he gets to deal with all the early diseased people who have been infected with the virus. Josh does a good job as what would come as the villainous role. (7/10)

Marley Shelton: Dr Dakota Block is planning to leave her husband but her plan takes a turn for the worse when her friend turns up dead pushing her husband to the limit leading to her having to perform the whole second half of the film partially paralysed. Marley does a good job and has to go through the scene that will make look every time. (8/10)dakota

Jeff Fahey: J.T. serves the best BBQ in Texas out of a diner, he is the location where all the survivors head to as they regroup where they plan the next move. Jeff gives us the much needed comic relief role in the film. (7/10)

Bruce Willis: Lt Muldoon is part of a military unit who has been infected but is controlling the infection, he wants to be able to control is and use it as a weapon but the deal goes bad leading to him to continue his search after the cure gets released in this small town. Bruce might only be in a supporting role but he does do a good job never looking like too much of a star compared to the rest of the cast. (7/10)murtdoon

Naveen Andrews: Abby is the man controlling the deal but after he gets turned on by Muldoon he ends up escaping after releasing the gas upon the small town. Naveen gives us the shady character that also offers up the information to fill in the technical side of the virus. (7/10)abby

Support Cast: Planet Terror has a large supporting cast that do add to the main story and the involvement of Rodriquez’s friends in certain roles that almost steal the scenes they are in.

Director Review: Robert RodriquezRobert brings his trademark flair to the film that puts his stamp on the zombie genre much like he did with the vampire genre in From Dusk Till Dawn. (8/10)

Action: Planet Terror is filled with action which includes plenty of zombie killing through shoot outs or just plan hand to hand combat. (9/10)

Horror: Planet Terror breathes fresh life into the zombie genre by making it all action. (8/10)

Settings: Planet Terror makes you believe that we are in a small community that everyone knows everyone and would be willing to help them. (9/10)
Special Effects: Planet Terror uses the effects that all look brilliant with the make up with the CGI coming off slightly iffy but that adds to what this film is going for.(8/10)

Suggestion: Planet Terror is one for all the horror fans to watch and you will end up adding this to your guilty pleasure selection. (Horror Fans Watch)

Best Part: Cherry Darling has an upgrade.

Worst Part: It won’t be for everyone.

Action Scene Of The Film: Final sequence.

Funniest Scene: The examination scene for the bite mark.

Kill Of The Film: Abby as you don’t see it coming.

Scariest Scene: I pick Dakota’s escape because it makes you look away.

Favourite Quote: Dr. Dakota Block: Hi, Joe. I’m going to give you a very strong anaesthetic, so you won’t feel anything during the procedure. These…

[pats the needles in her shirt pocket]

Dr. Dakota Block: …are my friends. My yellow friend is to take the sting off.

[injects Joe in the arm with the yellow needle]

Dr. Dakota Block: My blue friend you’ll barely feel.

[injects Joe in the arm with the blue needle]

Dr. Dakota Block: That means my yellow friend is already taking effect. See how fast my friends work?

[injects Joe in the arm with the red needle]

Dr. Dakota Block: And after my red-headed friend, you’ll never see me again.

[Joe slobbers over himself and passes out]

Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: It could have one but I doubt it very much.

Post Credits Scene: No

Oscar Chances: No

Runtime: 1 Hour 45 Minutes

Tagline: You might feel a little prick

Trivia: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen refused to give Josh Brolin an audition for the role of Llewelyn in their movie No Country for Old Men (2007), so he asked director Robert Rodriguez to help him shoot an audition tape while Brolin was filming his Grindhouse (2007) segment (Planet Terror (2007)) for Rodriguez. Rodriguez shot and Quentin Tarantino directed the tape, which was shot using a $950,000 digital camera. Marley Shelton, who was playing Brolin’s character’s wife in Grindhouse, agreed to read the lines for Llewelyn’s wife Carla Jean (eventually played by Kelly Macdonald).

Overall: Planet Terror gives us blood splattering gore fest that will keep you entertained throughout.

Rating 80

 

Scooby Doo! Pirates Ahoy! (2006)

logoDirector: Chuck Sheetz

Writer: Margaret M. Dean, Jed Elinoff, Scott Thomas (Screenplay)

Starring: (Voice Talents) Frank Welker, Casey Kasem, Mindy Cohn, Grey DeLisle, Ron Perlman, Freddy Rodriguez, Tim Conway, Edie McClurg, Kathy Najimy, Arsenio Hall, Dan Castellaneta

 

Plot: Scooby and the gang take a mystery-themed cruise through the Bermuda Triangle, but what starts out as staged hi-jinks soon turns into the real thing. Ghost pirates are prowling the legendary waters of the Triangle, searching for a priceless treasure and someone on board the cruise ship may hold the secret to it’s location. Now Scooby and the rest of gang will have to solve the real mystery behind the mysterious treasure or they may end up walking the plank to sink to the depths of Davy Jones’ Locker!

 

Verdict: Fun Filled Family Adventure

 

Story: We only watch these films to see where the gang end up, as they always end up in a position where there is a mystery to solve. Putting the gang on a mystery cruise only for them to ruin the trip for everyone before the real mystery begins. The case is always larger than the TV series mysteries and usually has a few more twists and turns. It really does what it needs to do and will keep the fans entertained. (7/10)

 

Character Review

 

Scooby Doo: The most famous Great Dane gets up to his usual here, with his stomach taking over, but unlike other films he knows when things get personal he will step up instead of waiting for a Scooby Snack. (7/10)

 scooby

Fred: With his parents inviting the gang on the cruise, he gets all embarrassed by them, but his plan as always goes slightly wrong before he takes full control to save his parents. (7/10)

 

Shaggy: Typical Shaggy performance whose stomach always comes first, but his nose helps the gang get to safety when the gang is in danger. (7/10)

 shaggy

Velma: The brains of the gang who puts together the mystery and as always she knows who did it. (7/10)

 

Daphne: Always comes over as a bit of a diva but always ends up being a lot smarter than she is given credit for, she uses her resources to get the gang free.(7/10)

 

Captain Skunkbeard: The captain who is after a buried treasure in the Bermuda Triangle, he is capturing any ship that comes close and building an army of ghost pirates. (7/10)

 captain

Rupert Garcia: The man that Captain Skunkbeard is after as he has the answer to where the treasure is. (7/10)

 

Director Review: Chuck Sheetz – Good direction to create everything you want in a Scooby Doo film. (7/10)

 

Animation: Good animation showing you don’t need all the best animation for a good film. (7/10)

Comedy: Normal level of comedy for a Scooby film that gives enough laughs without it being a full blown comedy. (7/10)

Family: Good for the whole family to watch. (9/10)

Mystery: Always good for a ‘who done it’ without being too confusing. (8/10)

Settings: Good setting using the Bermuda Triangle and its history to add to the mystery. (9/10)

Suggestion: These films will always be good for the family to watch as they have enough entertainment to keep everyone happy. (Kids And Family Watch)

 

Best Part: Bermuda Triangle idea works well.

Worst Part: Not enough potential suspects.

Funniest Scene: Costume pick.

Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: This is a franchise that will go on and on.

Post Credits Scene: No

 

Oscar Chances: No

Runtime: 1 Hour 20 minutes

 

Overall: Fun Family Film

Rating 70