What Was Cloverfield Really About?

What Was Cloverfield Really About?

This discussion will contain spoilers and is done purely for fun, I do really like Cloverfield and don’t mean to offend anyone who was involved in the making of the movie.

Secret government document, hitting this has all happened and now we are going to be watching research about what happened for many films to come.

This is Found Footage and it rains in New York, see it is always sunny or snowy.

Creepy boyfriend films girlfriend naked in bed, well this isn’t going to end well.

Why are the government watching the part about preparing for the party?

One of the friends is leaving for Japan, so this is a leaving party that has a giant monster, which we would usually see in Japanese cinema with Godzilla and we know how bad it went when Godzilla came to New York.

Awkward conversation from TJ Miller, well this is awkward in real life now, or has this blown over now?

Surprise party guest is more worried about his ex-girlfriend being there over the people who turned up.

All the secrets come out after midnight.

Motivational speech about leaving the girl behind and enjoying life.

Ooooo Earthquake, cue the screaming.

The head of the Statue of Liberty being thrown across New York City, it was almost like the director was pleading to get a chance at a Planet of the Apes movie.

This is also an amazingly cool shot.

We get to see part of the giant monster, the less is more technique in effect.

Let’s regroup and figure out what to do, get out of town, a smart decision in a movie, what is going on?

Bridge is out, he is dead, well this escalated quickly.

We film running in found footage, this is why people hate these movies.

New idea, get across town to save old girlfriend, well I guess the smart one died.

The big creature has little creatures, this makes for good horror and cheaper effects moments.

Wrong turn, as the friends up in the middle of the battle between the military and the monster.

Subway seems like a good place to hide, wait it is dark down here.

The ocean is big, elsewhere the sun is hot.

SPIDERS or spider like creatures that scare rats.

How about we run?

Nasty cut, do you think it will get infected?

Three bad options each leading to certain death.

Military set up in a shop, guess they were shopping between fights.

Turns out getting bitten isn’t the best thing that can happen to you.

New York City is going to get blown up as the last resort

We have a countdown for evacuation, put the stopwatch on the screen please.

TJ Miller pretty much asks the questions the internet has been asking about this movie, in the movie without knowing the answers, Fourth Wall Break before he was in Deadpool.

Let’s do this dangerous climb from one building to a fallen down one, because we ran out of money for the monster effects?

We gave up a brother and a friend to maybe save a girl you were abandoning and she is near death, was it worth it?

The great escape is on now, get to the Choppa!

We see the creature monster and it is one ugly mother fucka!

Praying for life while still holding the camera in a helicopter crash.

Time for your close up.

This really small bridge if going to be the safest place we can find to record our goodbye messages.

I had a good day’ as the final line, this tells the audience how they should feel, slightly in there faces.

 

 

 

 

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What is Before I Fall Really About?

What is Before I Fall Really About?

This post will contain full spoilers for the film, so you have been warned.

Narration from the character we are meant to be like, telling us she is going to die by the end of the day but in fact she dies the next morning.

Typical teenager doesn’t talk to her parents or younger sister.

So, this is meant to be the nice one of the four annoyingly popular high school students.

Teaching high school students, it is ok to judge people on their image before getting to know them.

Cupid Day, well if Valentine’s Day wasn’t bad enough we have pre, pre-Valentine’s day now.

Mystery stalker but you still go to the party with your clearly asshole boyfriend.

More high school bullying on a student who has problems no one wants to understand.

We are the most popular people at the party so look at us but don’t talk to us.

The boyfriend is too drunk for Samantha’s first time, because doing it after a high school party is going to be ‘Special’

Bully the girl the girls see as different once again, surely, we need to actually like these girls.

She dies lol, wake up and do the day again.

Samantha has a confusion face for a day and still makes the same mistakes.

Why would the high school kids all go to the same party if they hate each other?

Why would Samantha go to this party if she believed she is having déjà vu?

So, I will overlook the idea of it just being déjà vu, but now we are in third day, will Sam learn her lessons? I doubt it.

Pep talk from mum telling her own daughter that she is happy she is a popular bitch, parenting 101.

We are on the third outing of this day and Samantha knows how to deal with repeating days, come on does Groundhog Day not exist in this universe, or any other film, book or tv show about re-living the same day?

The popular high school girl and popular high school hunk have been dating a year and not had sex, I am pretty sure the hunk would have walked away by now.

Repeating the day helps Sam make a new love interest in the day.

Smart decision of not going to the party, meaning she can’t die in the car crash right, wrong.

4 best friends spend more time on their phones than actually talking to each other, well Einstein was right.

The plot thickens, yeah we do have a plot here somewhere, even past the ‘death’ time we learn about what Samantha could change but she doesn’t die, but must re-live the day, could it be time to talk to someone about this?

We need a montage to show the days repeating and how she doesn’t change anything because she cares about her popularity and we lose count of the number of days she is going through even though the plot says it is just a week.

To improve the day Samantha decides to become a full bitch and still not asking for help.

Samantha tells the truth and gets turned into a reject by her friends, well this isn’t going to become anything new, oh look she decides to be nice to the other outcast proving she needs people no matter what is going on in her life.

Besties fight, and the routine of getting one of the side group to help solve the problem and whatever is said is almost forgotten.

Samantha decides to see what sex is like while the bully still takes place, what a girl she is.

Learning to open up to the people outside the popular circle and the people you left behind.

The parents are happy to let both daughters skip school, parenting goals.

Same day, new girl well she is learning at last how to be nicer to the people around her.

Memories, are the things that can never change, yay.

The Truth, You Can’t handle the truth.

I have accepted the day and am happy to repeat it.

Sacrifice and learning after repeating too often.

So wait, she dies and nobody else really learns anything from her experience, I call bullshit on this.

The whole point of this type of story is for the person to change their lives to help others, but all we got was the old friend getting a snog and the depressed girl getting her life saved, the bullies learn nothing, I mean nothing here.

 

 

 

What is Foolproof Really About?

What is Foolproof really about?foolproof

This is just a fun look at the film and will be filled with spoilers.

This is 2003 film before Ryan Reynolds ruined some of our favourite comic books so he is still innocent to us all.comic book characters

But we do forgive him after Deadpool.deadpool ryan

Ryan Reynolds doing exercise practising his running, well that didn’t take the ladies long to get happy.fitness

Three friends play heist in their free time, well this is different I guess.best friend

Ryan Reynolds is play the wise taking ladies’ man like the pro he is.pro

Team who make Foolproof plans have their plans stolen and used making them suspects.lst plans

Bad guy is called Mr Gillette, now I feel like shaving well I say feel what I mean is I need to.gilette

The three are the Best a Man can get, ok this was bad.best a man get

I’m not going to prison cliché.prison

We do the job and now we have to watch a preparation montage, yay.prepartion

Twist in the story which we will learn about latter in the film.plot twist

British villain has a dark side but know he needs the friends for the heist.british villain

Rat scares member of the team cliché.rat

Getting the job done with seconds to spare cliché.time t os pare

The old hairspray to reveal the lasers routine.laser

Yet another cliché, this film really is just a series of clichés.clihces

Betrayal well we knew it was coming so don’t act surprised here.surpsires

You’ve been framed.framed

Happy ending.happy

 

 

What is XXX Really About?

What is XXX really about?casting card

This as always is just fun tongue in cheek look at the film.

XXX is one of the film title much like Deep Impact, Double Impact and Shaving Ryan’s Privates you can’t look up on the internet with you parents.parents internet

This is Mark Sinclair better known as Vin Diesel’s first solo leading role with only one Fast and the Furious Film under his belt.vin

Rammstein are in this movie singing a song with the lyrics bang bang which works for all the gun shooting happening.rammstein

Agent finds himself trapped being hunted down by bad guys with music to cover any gun shots.trappped

Crowd surfing dead body well it is a metal band.crowd surfing

Samuel L Jackson as a recruiting agent for a secret operation for the government well this doesn’t sound too much like Nick Fury audition.nickk fury

Vin Diesel is in the wrong film franchise by stealing a fast car and jumping off a bridge.wrong film

Also it is one car does he really need 6 police car chasing him.vereaction cop

Urban campaigning with extreme sports because rock music isn’t bad and video games don’t make you do this, well until Grand Theft Auto 5 came out.parachute

Vin Diesel still works a dominate strong woman with an attitude.whipped

Party time, I am untouchable, nope party it over and getting shot by a tranquiliser.nope 2

Worst training idea ever, with a poor man Will Smith Men in Black explanation.ook good

Vin Diesel meet his stunt double in a plane.stunt double

Cue the second training mission which turns out to be a real mission and a drug ring.round two

This director likes using the multiply camera angles much like Grand Theft Auto in the Stunt Jumps.camera

Frankenstein (which only the doctor not the monster, so bad writing) and Scarface reference made within 1 minute to try and make Xander look like a bad ass against authority.bullying

I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse, well you are going to jail unless you help me.offer

Czech Republic, well I guess bigger cities were too expensive.czech republic

Xander Cage is such an attempted badass name but the only Xander I know is the geeky guy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the only Cage I know well, The Bees Not the Bees.not the bees xander

Xander plays the Gone in Sixty Seconds Card to get close the villain.six secong

The story is way to lucky that one of the henchman knows Xander to make this actually happen.lucky

Care package is the gadget man that feels like a Bond rip off.gadgt

Smoking kills reference and yes this is 2002.smoking kills

Horror icon Dario Argento’s daughter is the Bond girl of the film.bond girl

That really awkward kiss by Vin Diesel.awkwar kiss

Cover busted, go home, No got to save girl.busted

Missile weapon because bad guys and shit.secret weapon

More extreme sports because we all know he is good at it now.extreme sprts

Double twist well we saw one coming.twist

More extreme sports but this feels like Inception could have copied it.snow borading

Let’s make an Avalanche because that won’t be dangerous.avaance

He survived this.survived

Give away master plan before executing to cliché.mst pln

A must switch the safety off first gag.safety first

Final epic, well meant to be epic chase down a river.chasing

Welcome to the Xander zone, worst catchphrase ever.catchphrase

 

What is RED Really About?

What is RED Really About?casting card

This is just a fun look at this movie so take nothing too serious.

Bruce Willis is retired wondering around his house, so pretty much his real life acting career nowadays.tired bruce

Bruce Willis chatting up the girl at the call centre he clearly has never met just feels awkward.call cnere girl

Great this is a freaking Christmas movie.christmas

Bruce Willis only has one friend and that is the call centre girl Sarah to a level that could be considered stalking this is getting extra creepy now, this is meant to be an action comedy right?one friend

Frank’s cover is blown as he needs to use his quick getaway tactic, good job he wanted a midnight snack.cover blown

Bruce Willis turns up unannounced at Sarah’s house, ok this is reaching a new level of stalking which should include jail time and she kidnaps to top this off.too far

The cool Dredd is here playing cop and loving father, whose latest job is now to kill John McClane.dread

Morgan Freeman is a horny old pervert who used to work with John McClane and has to help him work out who is trying to kill him.pervert freeman

Even Judge Dredd can’t out think John McClane who ends up framing him.dredd v mcclane

Taking Sara across State lines that means this is now a Federal case.federal case

Random hitman tries to kill Morgan Freeman.kil morgan

Secret records room for top secret mission folders.secret room

Sarah has Stockholm Syndrome because accepting of her captive’s mission.stockholm

John Malkovich literally flies onto the screen for this crazy sidekick character.malkovich

Malkovich adds all the comedy to this film including taking a stuff pig around with him.malkovich pig

Airport shoot out to show just how good these hitmen are with their weapons.

Time for a meeting with an old enemy that is now a resource of information.enemies working together

Breaking into the CIA, well Tom Cruise did why not John McClane?tom cruise

Grandpa jokes, oh come on Dredd you’re better than this.grandpa jokes

John McClane goes to break out The Queen to fix his shot arm well this is like an old persons version of Expendables.expenables

Richard Dreyfuss isn’t hunting sharks in this movie.jaws

These cover-ups are getting too predictable when it comes to see how the government kills people for fun.cover up

Self-sacrifice well this is original.self sacrifcee

You kill my girlfriend of 5 minutes I will kill your family, well this just seems harsh not going to lie especially as he stalked her for years.escolated quickly

This scene in the Vice-President’s diner feels a lot like an Ocean’s movie with the slickness between each character handling everything to prepare for what is meant to be happening.oceans

This shoot out is way too long with silly amount of bullets going off.bullet pile

John Malkovich with a bomb strapped to him reminds me of an old version of Deadpool.malkovich bomb

It was me all along, how did you not see it?it was me

Time for a sequel well the film decides to blow the rest of the budget in the end credits scene and the only film ever set in Moldavia.budget