How to Get Girls (2017)

Director: Omri Dorani, Zach Fox

Writer: Omri Dorani, Zach Fox (Screenplay)

Starring: Martin Cervantez, Zach Fox, David Koechner, Kate Flannery, Meghan Roberts


Plot: A nerdy high schooler exploits his childhood best friend’s newly found good looks to climb the popularity chain.

Tagline – High School Is So Weird.

Runtime: 1 Hour 33 Minutes


There may be spoilers in the rest of the review


Verdict: Pure Trash


Story: How to Get Girls starts Zach (Fox) and Ben (Cervantez) that spent years apart reunite in high school after Ben has been away and changed being the most attractive guy in the school, while Zach is still the geek left behind, that is always bullied and doesn’t get the girls.

Zach learns that he now has an in, with Ben, while Ben just wants to continue with the old comic book dream, can the two old friends put their new differences a side to enjoy the high school experience.


Thoughts on How to Get Girls


Characters – Zach has been going through the high school experience, bullied and desperate to get with girls, it is clearly his mentality that has stopped him getting a girl, because he is an asshole that just assumes women should fall for him no matter what he does. Ben has been raised away from the normal, returning to his new experience only to have changed his appearance from the short tubby kid, now he wants to live a normal life, only to be thrown into the mix of this sex driven world. Principal B is overly involved in the student lives, he knows about their sex lives and heads to the parties, he is the only part of the film that might laughs out of this film.

PerformancesThis is one of the hardest film to judge the performances of the actors in, Zach Ford is painful to watch, he is just so annoying, Martin Cervantez does better, being the stranger to this world. David Koechner is the only positive part of this film, he gets the most inappropriate lines in the film.

StoryThe story here follows a teenager who has become obsessed with sex during his high school time, whose best friend is finally return to him home town and hasn’t changed his mindset only he has become the attraction to the high school girls. It is a test of friendship and sex, the problem comes from the fact we should have interesting core to this film about friendship, only spend nearly every other moment talking about what Zach wants to do with girls, thinking every girl should be willing to sleep with him. This does become horrible to watch because no high school acts like this and no person will ever be like these teenagers.

ComedyYou might laugh once and that is being generous.

SettingsThe film is set in a random town in America, it has the usual locations of high school and house parties, it is nothing you have seen before

Scene of the Movie –
Stop sign.

That Moment That Annoyed Me Just Zach in general.

Final ThoughtsThis is a painful movie that just drags along without giving us anything redeeming in anyway.


Overall: Just awful.




Blood Quantum Coming to Shudder Today


It’s 1981 and a virus infects earth and turns its inhabitants into undead hordes with only one community spared and left to fight in this distinctive and relevant spin on the zombie siege horror. AMC’s horror streaming platform Shudder unleashes Barnaby’s gory chiller NOW!

The Final Wish (2018) Movie Review

Director: Timothy Woodward Jr

Writer: Jeffrey Reddick, William Halfon, Jonathon Doyle (Screenplay)

Starring: Lin Shaye, Michael Welch, Melissa Bolona, Spencer Locke, Tony Todd, Kaiwi Lyman, Jonathan Daniel Brown

Plot: After the death of his father, Aaron returns home to help his grief-stricken mother and to confront his past. Going through his dad’s belongings, he comes across a mysterious item that is more than it seems.

Runtime: 1 Hour 35 Minutes

There may be spoilers in the rest of the review

Verdict: Struggles to Get Going

Story: The Final Wish starts when aspiring lawyer Aaron (Welch) has found himself struggling for money and when his father dies suddenly, he must return home to help his mother Kate (Shaye), even though they have become distant through the recent years.

After Aaron catches up with old friends, he is involved in an accident, but he starts to notice something strange about the people around him after the accident, with a series of things that he wants to solve before it is too late.

Thoughts on The Final Wish

Characters – Aaron has left his small town to try and become a lawyer, he has all the qualifications, only he got them from a weaker college, whose reputation is holding him back from jobs, he must return home after his father’s death and finds himself dealing with a whole new set of problems including dealing with events he simply can’t explain. Kate is Aaron’s mother that is going through the grieving process, she doesn’t want to lose any of the possession he has gathered through the years and is stuck trying to understand why her son never came back earlier. Lisa is a former childhood sweetheart of Aaron’s she has been supporting Kate through the struggles despite having her own problems to overcome, she does end up helping Aaron try to get to the bottom of the problems he is facing. Colin the expert that does fill in most of the blanks about what is happening to Aaron.

PerformancesLin Shaye brings everything you would expect from her in a horror film, even if she is more of a supporting part in the film. Michael Welch takes the leading role and ends filling the generic role without making his character more memorable that he should have, Melissa Bolona fills the supporting side with ease, while Tony Todd gives us a strong cameo, leaving us wanting to see more from.

StoryThe story here follows a young man struggling to make his way in his field of choice that must return home after a family death, only to learn that he has unwittingly connects with an evil item within the house. The story here does follow the routine of seeing a relative returning to a family after a death, meeting old friends and getting a chance to catch up on life. When it comes to the horror side of the story, it does take a while to get into everything, which by the time we get into what is happening, it does feel like a dark Aladdin. We also get a conclusion which does feel like kop out.

HorrorThe horror in the film is the weakest part, we do have an idea which could be very interesting, only it takes too long to get to the point of the horror, leaving us wondering more than giving us any scares.

SettingsThe film uses the small town setting to show what it would be like to return home after being in a big city, filled with memories, but doesn’t use anything for horror.

Scene of the Movie – The final wish.

That Moment That Annoyed Me – Takes too long to get to the horror.

Final Thoughts This is a horror that does have a very interesting idea, only it doesn’t manage to balance the idea with the build up, leaving us wanting more of the horror and less of the memory lane.

Overall: Slow starting horror.

Signature Entertainment presents The Final Wish on Digital HD from May 25th

ABC Film Challenge – Action – # – The Marine 5: Battleground (2017) Movie Review

Being a sequel, it makes the numbers list.

Director: James Nunn

Writer: Edward McHenry, Rory McHenry (Screenplay)

Starring: Mike Mizanin, Maryse Mizanin, Heath Miller, Trinity Fatu, Anna Van Hooft, Sandy Robson, Joe Hennig, Taylor Rotunda

Plot: While working as an EMT back stateside Jake Carter after responding to a distress call, finds himself caught up protecting a person of interest from a biker gang ruthlessly hunting them down.

Runtime: 1 Hour 31 Minutes

There may be spoilers in the rest of the review

Verdict: Nice Late Night Actioner

Story: The Marine 5: Battleground starts as ex-marine turned EMT Jake Carter (Mizanin) is on his first day of the job working with Zoe Williams (Hooft), we see how Jake will risk more to save people and the latest call sees them responding to a heart attack, which turns out to be a gunshot wound from Cole (Mitchell) who has got a biker gang Alonzo (Rotunda), Deacon (Hennig) and Murphy (Fatu) tracking them down in an abandon parking complex.

Jake must use all his skills and military training to keep Cole alive, when the rest of the gang arrive, giving them a massive number advantage.

Thoughts on The Marine 5: Battleground

Characters – Jake Carter has stepped away from the military lifestyle turning his hand to EMT, which should play into his strengths of dealing with crisis situation, on his first day, he is forced to return to his old ways to protect an injured man from a biker gang, he uses every trick in the trade proving he is a lot harder to kill. Cole is the driver in a drive-by, he is forced into the crime, which sees him shot looking to hide from the gang that wants revenge. Cash, Alonzo, Deacon are three members of the biker gang that are looking to kill Cole and anybody who helps him, including Jake and his partner, they might be just generic villains, but they work for the film.

PerformancesMike Mizanin has taken over this franchise to make it his own, he won’t win any awards for his work, but he keeps the character interesting each time out. We do get a lot of different wrestlers in this one, which works for the fights, with Taylor Rotunda being the best of them.

StoryThe story here follows an ex-marine turned EMT who finds himself in the middle of a biker gang hunt where he needs to use his military training to make it out alive against the deadly game. This isn’t the biggest or deepest story, it does everything that a late night action film will do, we get a military hero that is trying to have a normal life only finding themselves against criminals. It works, it doesn’t try to make things complicated, just an easy watch.

ActionThe action in the film is fights and bullets flying, it is kept simple and nearly always leads to the hero getting the upper hand.

SettingsThe film does keep the settings tight, with most of the film inside the parking complex, which has the exits covered, while seeing the abandoned amusement park next door for a final fight.

Scene of the Movie – Amusement park fight.

That Moment That Annoyed Me – The villains never feel like a threat.

Final Thoughts This is an easy to watch late night action movie, it does everything it needs to without be complicating or anything.

Overall: Easy Action Film.