Movie Reviews 101 Midnight Horror – The Vatican Exorcisms (2013)

logDirector: Joe Marino

Writer: Mauro Paolucci, Salvatore Scarico (Screenplay)

Starring: Piero Maggio, Joe Marino, Anella Vastola

Plot: The Vatican Exorcisms was shot by Joe Marino, an American film-maker who went to Italy to shed light on the phenomenon of exorcisms. Accompanied by Padre Luigi, a true exorcist, Joe travels to the south of Italy, a place where the sacred and profane have always lived together, where Christian rituals are inextricably linked to the pagan ones.

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

Verdict: Well This Was Bad

Story: The Vatican Exorcisms starts with the true story warning as we learn Joe Marino goes to Italy to investigate the Vatican Exorcisms. Joe makes it clear he will be using no special effects as he meets up with his team. Along with his team Joe learns that the devil is in fact inside the Vatican before meeting a former victim who makes the group aware of a black mass which they stop before it is completed.

As the investigation continues Joe gets to witness exorcisms in progresses filming then but the more he witnesses the more paranoid he becomes.

The Vatican Exorcisms is a film that I kind of miss heard a recommendation and ended up watching, now this is going to be rather rant heavy. The film is meant to be found footage, but it has music for some reason and more unexplainable is the half subtitles half you gotta work it out yourself. I would have accepted one or the other because I don’t speak Italian so this made most of this film pointless for me. The random exorcisms don’t make sense either as we see one that isn’t completed before moving on to the next on. This film really is very messy and very plan offering us nothing in the means of horror enjoyment. (2/10)

Actor Review

Joe Marino: Himself is a documentary film maker who goes in search of the secret of the Vatican and most of all their exorcisms, he travels Italy with a team as well as an exorcist learning the different methods they use to cure the victims but he starts to get paranoid with the final outcome. Joe does a simple job and does and up feeling like a documentary film maker through this. (4/10)joe

Support Cast: The Vatican Exorcisms has a supporting cast but we never learn their names, hell they are not even credited on the IMDB.

Director Review: Joe Marino Joe doesn’t seem to capture the full idea of the concept of trying to investigate and create horror. (3/10)

Horror: The Vatican Exorcisms has one good scene which ends up being a false scare to. (2/10)

Settings: The Vatican Exorcisms uses different locations in Italy but that I just to make it close to the Vatican. (3/10)

Suggestion: The Vatican Exorcisms is one to avoid, the exorcism genre is really getting old now. (Avoid)

Best Part: Its short.

Worst Part: Its not short enough.

Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: No

Post Credits Scene: No

Oscar Chances: No

Budget: $1,1 Million

Runtime: 1 Hour 16 Minutes

Overall: Terribly slow, boring and frightless.

Rating 15

The 51st State (2001)

logoDirector: Ronny Yu

Writer: Stel Pavlou (Screenplay)

Starring: Samuel L Jackson, Robert Carlyle, Emily Mortimer, Meat Loaf, Sean Pertwee, Rhys Ifans, Ricky Tomlinson


Plot: An American master chemist plans to score big on a once in a lifetime drug deal. All does not go as planned and he is soon entangled in a web of deceit.


There may be spoilers the rest of the review


Verdict: Loud Fowl Mouthed Drug Film


Story: The 51st State starts in 1971 California where Elmo McElroy (Jackson) getting caught smoking weed losing he recently receive diploma in pharmacy. Move forward 30 years Elmo works as a drug maker for The Lizard (Meat Loaf). We learn that Dakota (Mortimer) owes The Lizard a debt which she pays off with her assassin skills. Elmo has taken it upon himself to escape The Lizard but he doesn’t get the job done, this leads to The Lizard giving Dakota a chance to clean her slate for good by sending her to kill Elmo and the drug dealer who never turned up for the deal Durant (Tomlinson).

Next we meet Felix DeSouza (Carlyle) a fellow dealer who is happy to live in Manchester while cheering for Liverpool putting him into conflict when he doesn’t need too. Felix has to deliver Elmo to Durant to help with the latest deal as Elmo brings his product to England but to keep things interesting Dakota just so happens to be Felix’s ex make the assassination attempt difficult due to the personal side.

It is up to Felix and Elmo to try and work out a deal in the city before the time runs out with Dakota trying to track down Elmo to for The Lizard. All this while determined detective Kane (Pertwee) want in on the action and to stop the deal taking place. All these factors lead to the final outcome of the film when we find out just who is playing who.

The 51st State is a film that really made me want to switch it off very early because the needless amount of swearing and aggressive toning of the language just seemed to be there because someone couldn’t think of any real words. I wasn’t the most interested in this film because of the heavy drug use either because I feel drugs over use makes people out to stupid because not everyone needs drugs but the films seems to make the point everyone does. After getting through the opening half of the film and getting used the poorly written script the story does unfold to be quite interesting. We get plenty of twists and turn along the way and the final twist does actually make you smile because of how Elmo has handled it all. (5/10)


Actor Review


Samuel L Jackson: Elmo McElroy is the most wanted chemist in the world of drugs, he decides to leave his old market behind and take his work to England where he gets stuck in the middle of a battle for power between the drug lords. Samuel does end up giving us a performance you would expect but his image if something that will shock with his kilt. (7/10)


Robert Carlyle: Felix DeSouza is the hot head Liverpool fan who works for a drug lord in the city but when things get out of hand he has to help settle the deal for Elmo and his price tickets to Liverpool v Manchester United. Robert gives the performance you would expect from the British star. (7/10)


Emily Mortimer: Dakota Parker is the deadly beautiful assassin who is working off a debt from The Lizard, she has history with Felix but is working on catching Elmo for The Lizard. Emily does a good job as the assassin with a past. (7/10)


Meat Loaf: The Lizard is the American drug lord that has been double crossed by Elmo but he isn’t taking it lightly when he sends his best assassin to bring him back to complete the business deal they had going down. Meat Loaf does end up giving a performance you wouldn’t expect from the musician. (7/10)


Rhys Ifans: Iki is the local dealer who can help get the deal done in Liverpool once everything gets out of hand. He is playing both sides because he is the go to guy in the city. Rhys is one of the best over the top crazy performers in the acting work and he shows why here. (7/10)


Support Cast: The 51st State has a supporting cast that includes plenty of different characters involved in the drug world that all help motive our characters.


Director Review: Ronny Yu – Ronny does try to give us a crime caper but does he need to just have the characters swearing for the sake of it. (5/10)


Action: The 51st State has a couple of fights but most of the action is almost happening. (5/10)

Crime: The 51st State puts us in a drug world well giving us a mixture of colourful characters. (8/10)

Thriller: The 51st State doesn’t pull you in as much as it should because we think everything is done and dusted early on and by the time it has changed we are not sure what to think. (6/10)

Settings: The 51st State uses the setting of Liverpool very well making everything feel like a normal day with the crime happening around it. (8/10)

Suggestion: The 51st State is one to try, I think if you are a fan of the genre you will enjoy but otherwise it might end up feeling like too much. (Try It)


Best Part: Final deal.

Worst Part: Too much needless aggressive swearing.


Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: No

Post Credits Scene: Early on in the credits.


Oscar Chances: No

Budget: $28 Million

Runtime: 1 Hour 33 Minutes

Tagline: In a world of shady characters and dirty deals, this is just business as usual.


Overall: This is a typical over aggressive drug filled film that has a twist that makes it more enjoyable.

Rating 40

2015 Watched List Part 38

Over the past year I have seen an incredible amount of films and I have decided to share with you all which ones I have seen in what order. I am going to be doing these in groups of ten, where I will pick my favourite of the bunch and the worst of the bunch.

So without further ramblings here we go with 381 – 390:

  1. Friday the 13th New Blood logo This seventh instalment in the franchise actually is one of the best as we follow a woman with telekinetic powers go against Jason.
  2. Pulse logo This is the original because you know me I watch the remakes first, this story follows the dead trying to find their way back into the world by literally making people fade away.
  3. Nightmare Code logo This low budget sci-fi film follows a programmer trying to figure out what is wrong with the program as we watch from the programs point of view.
  4. Shutter logo Yes another original that I saw the remake first and this time I felt the story is nearly the same but I think this has a greater horror feel about it.
  5. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl logo This is the charming film following a teenager who is struggling to find his place who befriends a dying girl where they give each other hope.
  6. Akira logo This classic animated film that is dark in it own right will always stand tall against the friendly animation we see.
  7. South Part Bigger Longer and Uncut – I know this has appeared before but I can just watch this film when I am bored.
  8. A Tale of Two Sisters logo The third original I have seen after the remake and though I think this was the weakest of the three it still just as effective as a horror film.
  9. Casper casper Every bodies favourite friendly ghost who was also the first ever CGI main character.
  10. All Cheerleaders Die logo This horror comedy that was about cheerleaders who get killed and come back t get revenge on the people who killed them.

The Best – Me and Earl and the Dying Girllogo

The Worst – All Cheerleaders Die, but this was a hard pick I liked all of these films.logo