Movie Reviews 101 Halloween Midnight Horror – Zombeavers (2014)

logoDirector: Jordan Rubin

Writer: Al Kaplan, Jordan Rubin, Jon Kaplan (Screenplay)

Starring: Rachel Melvin, Cortney Palm, Lexi Atkins, Hutch Dano, Jake Weary, Peter Gilroy, Rex Linn, Brent Briscoe, Phyllis Katz, Robert R Shafer

Plot: A fun weekend turns into madness and horror for a bunch of groupies looking for fun in a beaver infested swamp.

There may be spoilers the rest of the review

Verdict: Oh Dead God

Story: Zombeavers starts with two disposal who are carrying hazardous materials when they hit a deer and lose one of the containers into the local river. The contain ends up part of a beaver dam where it pierces spreading the hazardous material on the beavers.

Next we meet our three heroines Mary (Melvin), Zoe (Palm) and Jenn (Atkins) who are going away for weekend away from boys and the big after Jenn’s boyfriend Sam (Dano) cheated on her. The place they are staying at is Mary’s cousins and there is no signal so the girls are struggling to cope without their technology, the beaver dam just so happens to be next to where they are staying too.

The weekend gets interrupted by the guys Sam, Tommy (Weary) and Buck (Gilroy) giving the couples a chance to be together and Sam a chance to redeem himself. The friends start getting attack by what looks like rabies infected beavers but when more turn up the friends need to band together to survive the attack of the zombie beavers as we get to see the darker side to all these people’s characters.

Zombeavers is a slightly different take on the zombie genre and you all know I like myself a good zombie film. This was not a god zombie film, in actual fact is was absolutely terrible. The fact that they killed the wrong characters didn’t seem to make much sense and then they kept worst natured characters alive. I could swear that not everyone is this sex obsessed either, then let’s look at how this doesn’t end up mixing horror or comedy enough. They killed the dog in such a cowardly way I got very angry too. This should have fallen into so bad it is good but this ends up being only this bad it is awful. (2/10)

Actor Review

Rachel Melvin: Mary is the person whose family cabin the girls are staying at, she make strict rules about no boys or phones. She comes off as the wiser of the three but also has what looks like a geek side but is just like the rest, she also has a secret that could ruin all the friendship. Rachel does a solid job but never ends up making enough of a convincing case. (5/10)

Cortney Palm: Zoe is the flirty girl who is obsessed about sex, she pushes the locals until her boyfriend turns up to satisfy her needs. Cortney does a solid job but comes off as one you shouldn’t cheer for but end up cheering for. (6/10)

Lexi Atkins: Jenn is the girl on the trip who has been cheated on, she wants a weekend away to forget about her troubles but things change when her ex turns up making the rest of her weekend awkward. Lexi is the one you are meant to be cheering for but in the end falls into the back of the story. (5/10)

Hutch Dano: Sam is the cheating boyfriend, who tries to use the I was drunk excuse but he comes off quite cowardly when they are in danger. We learn about who the person in the photo is but we see just how much an asshole he is when he sacrifices Zoe’s dog to survive. Hutch makes us hate his character very easily. (6/10)

Jake Weary: Tommy is Rachel’s boyfriend and actually comes off as the prankster but the only good guy of the three. Tommy tries to go for help and easily is the only character to show the bravery to try and save his friends. Jake gives a solid performance but being the first to die wasn’t right for this character. (6/10)

Peter Gilroy: Buck is the sex obsessed member of the group who seems to end up getting all the worst lines and is the first person to get bitten on of the infected beavers. Peter does a basic job but never really does anything special in the role. (5/10)

Support Cast: Zombeavers only really has a couple more characters main providing information to the story too.

Director Review: Jordan RubinJordan manges to give us a horribly unlikeable film that doesn’t manage to be funny or scary. (2/10)

Comedy: Zombeavers doesn’t have many funny moments and is filled with horrendous attempted sex jokes. (1/10)

Horror: Zombeavers does give us a few horror moments but really ends up just losing any potential with the lazy comedy attempts. (4/10)

Settings: Zombeavers puts our characters in an isolated location once the beavers trap them. (7/10)
Special Effects: Zombeavers has really bad practical effects but I do think that was by design. (4/10)

Suggestion: Zombeavers is one to avoid at all costs, it is that bad I wouldn’t even remotely suggest it. (Avoid at All Costs)

Best Part: Zombie beaver bear.

Worst Part: Sacrificing the dog, you never do that in horror.

Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: Hopefully not.

Post Credits Scene: No

Oscar Chances: No

Runtime: 1 Hour 25 Minutes

Tagline: You’ll All Be Damned!

Overall: So Bad, how did it even get released?

Rating 5

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